GermanyxReader - Pen Pals - Part 8

                                    ~~~~8 Months Later~~~~

"Alfred! Where's the ice cream and pickles?!"
"I…I'm coming!" Alfred was rushing and panicking as he grabbed the food and rushed to you. He had to help take care of you since Ludwig was gone. You were craving the most disgusting foods, but it was natural since you were 7 months pregnant. It was a girl, and you couldn't wait to let Ludwig know.
You and he sent letters every day, like you did when you were Pen Pals, and you were accustomed to the process. You mourned for him, wishing he hadn't been drafted, but you knew it was for a good cause. You ate your pickles and ice cream as Alfred sat there, watching you.
"Is there anything else you need, ___?"
"No…not for now." He was kind of grossed out at the fact that you mixed his favorite chocolate chip ice cream with disgusting pickles; he looked away. You practically finished it, and you ordered  him around for more food. He was a good enough friend to do so, even though you were a big jerk, but he completely understood and did his best to help you in any way he could.
He gave you salt and pizza with ranch dressing, and he asked to be excused while he puked in the toilet. You laughed at him, knowing that he couldn't take it. You decided to let him go home and rest, and you thanked him. He insisted on staying, but you kindly told him to leave. After he was gone, you began to write your letter to Ludwig.
Dear Ludwig,
Hey baby. I miss you so very much. You don't even know. Don't worry; Alfred's been the best in helping me and our baby. He's endured all the struggle and stress that my mood swings have been giving off; I'm quit surprised he hadn't run away months ago. Anyway, I pray for you every day and I know you're alright. You're a strong man; I can't wait for you to come back home.
I just wish you were here to see me give birth to our baby. She's a girl. Isn't that wonderful? I'm so excited! I know she's going to be the most beautiful girl in the world. Ludwig, I want you to come home and be with us. I know you're doing the right thing, but I need you to come home as soon as possible, okay? Oh, and please tell your buddies I said hello and that I pray for them every night as well. I want you all to be safe and come home. I can't imagine what it's like out there for you all; nor will I ever.
I love you Ludwig; more than anything. Don't do anything crazy, you hear? I can't afford anything like that. I'll be waiting for your letter, dear. Be safe and don't get into any trouble; your daughter and I are still waiting for your return. Remember that we both love you so much, Ludwig! Ok…bye, for now.
Love,

Dear ___,
You don't know how hard I'm crying right now. We're having a baby girl? You don't even know how happy that makes me; I love you too, ___, more than life itself! I can't wait to come home and see our new baby girl! Oh my, what are we going to name her? I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it. And there go the tears again…you can probably tell by the smudged text.
This brings back memories from you and I were just friends; Dear God I'm so glad I met you; I love you so very much, ___, and if there was any way I could come see you and our daughter, I swear on my life I would grab that chance and never let it go. I'm so sorry we have to be apart; none of us asked for this, but just know I'm doing it for our country, and I won't do anything wrong, you hear me? I love you too much to let anything bad happen.
Oh, the guys say hello, thank you, and God Bless. They appreciate the prayers and are doing great. They were trying to think up suggestions for names; trust me, you don't want to know. Anyway, I love you ___. I love you and our daughter, and I pray for you both every night. I miss you so much, and it kills me that I can't see you give birth and be there to hold your hand. It really does, but I love you, and that should do for now. I'm looking forward to your letter, ___. I love you!
Love,
Ludwig
"HURRY ALFRED!" Your water broke the next day, and Alfred was doing his best to hurry and get you to the hospital. He was freaking out, especially since he'd never done this before.
"Uuhhh…sorry!!!" You were in a wheel chair, being rushed into the car. He had trouble getting you inside, with all your screaming and what not; he felt hardcore peer pressure and was already sweating.
"OOOHHHHH!" Your face was very tight as you tried to endure the pain. "Alfred, HURRY!"
"Oooohh-okay!" He pushed the peddle and sped all the way to the hospital. You were quickly breathing in and out, trying not to die in your wheel chair. The nurses rushed you to a vacant room so you could deliver your child. Alfred was still panicking like mad. One of the nurses rushed up to him.
"Sir, are you the father?"
"Wha-me? No, I'm just a friend, I-"
"Well she needs someone in there right now; she's demanding it."
"B-b-but I don't know what to-"
"Sir, come with me!" She feverishly yanked him to the room you were in, and suddenly, he could hear your shrieks of pain. His face turned blue, and he felt like puking. He was in the room, and you barely noticed him; you were too busy screaming your lungs out and squinting your eyes shut. The nurses and doctor were telling you to breathe in and push. You then heard Alfred's voice and felt him grab your hand.
"Oh God ___, what's happening?! I_I'm freakin' out, man, freakin out!!!"
"NNAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" You sreamed even louder than before.
"SHUT…UP! YOU…AREN'T…HELPING…UUUUUUUUGGHHHH!" You squeezed his hand extremely tight, and soon, he was squealing like a little girl.
"___-__...My…hand…!" He was slowly descending to the floor as you squeezed his hand tighter and tighter by the second. You started breathing harder, and you gave your last push.
"AHHHHHHHHHGGGGG!" You could then hear a baby crying, and the exhausting pain was finally over. The nurses cleaned your baby girl up, and you couldn't wait a second longer to hold her. Alfred got up from the floor, wincing in pain; his hand was red and bruised from what you had done.
"Oohh…thank God that's over!" He was barely standing, shaking his hand out. You giggled at him and started to imagine what you were going to write Ludwig, but you soon stopped as you saw the nurses rushing back and forth. You still didn't have your baby in your arms, and something felt wrong; very wrong. You started worrying.
"Wh-where's my baby?" You panicked as you saw one of the nurses rush in.
"I'm sorry miss, you're going to have to wait while they examine what's wrong."
"What?! What's wrong with her?! There can't be anything wrong, she's perfectly fine! I…I don't understand-" You stopped as you saw the doctor walk in. "D-doctor, i-is everything alright?!"
"To be honest, things aren't the best."
"What do you mean?!"
"Well, miss, your baby was born 5 weeks early; when this happens, it's very common for a health issue to arrive. We're afraid your child's lungs aren't fully developed; she's going to have to stay here for the night."
"Wha-? But where is she?! I need to see my baby!" You were already in tears, dying to hold the life that came out of you. One of the nurses walked in with her; she wasn't crying anymore. She gently and carefully handed you your child. "Oh, my beautiful baby girl. I love you so much." You held her so close to you, never wanting to let her go. The nurse soon walked up and lightly took her from you. The separation between you and your baby killed you.
"No, wait! Why can't I hold her any longer?!"
"We're sorry, miss, but we have to hurry and get her back to the E.R. She needs support for her breathing, otherwise, she won't live." You watched as the stranger walked away with your baby, taking her to the cold E.R.
"No! That's my baby…I…I need to see her one more time before I leave!" Alfred walked up and hugged you; you cried in his shirt again. "Oohh Alfred…what am I supposed to do now?"
"Shhh, ___, don't worry. He said it was common; that must mean that they've dealt with this many times before. Everything's going to be alright." He held you close, knowing that it really hurt you to see your baby leave you. You slowly stopped crying, knowing as what Alfred told you made you feel better.
"Thank you Alfred…you're such a good friend." He wiped your tears with the tissues that were on the table next to him.
"Let's get you home, ___."

Dear Ludwig,
I have no words to express my love towards you; I love you, and that's it. Ludwig, I have some really important news to tell you. I gave birth to our baby girl! It was painful, but it was worth it. I wish you were here to see, honey. I know you feel the same way, but there's no need to worry; I wasn't alone through the exhausting process. I had Alfred by my side.
But you must know something, dear. I gave birth to her 5 weeks earlier than I should've, and the doctor told me that it's very common for babies who're born too early to experience health issues. It scared me, and it still does. I…I don't know what I'm going to do. All I can do right now is hope and pray that everything'll be alright. Oh Ludwig…I don't know how to deal with this right now.
I'm crying as I write this. She's been at the hospital for 2 hours, and I'm crying my eyes out. I know she's being cared for right now, but I wish I had her in my arms; I just wish she was born the day she was meant to! I'm stressing out right now; I just don't know what to do. Please write back soon, honey.
Love,
__
Dear ___,
Your last letter terrified me, sweetie. Please don't tell my it's true; she's on life support because she was born a few weeks earlier than she should have! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard; there're many babies born months before their due date; they don't go through crazy things like this! ___, I'm trying to come home as soon as I can. I'm crying as I write this; I haven't seen a peak of what our beautiful daughter looks like, and she's already in the hospital?
Dear God I hope she's alright. The guys and I have you both in our prayers, honey. I'm freaking out, my hands are shaking; I need to see you both, now! I…I can't take this anymore! It's killing me from the inside out! I…I wish this never had happened…never in my life did I ask for such a thing. I-I'm sorry for the break out, ___. It's just; I have some horrible news as well.
I lost a good friend in action today. He was defusing a bomb with only a limited amount of time left. There were poor children and their families in the building, and he died trying to save them all. I…I'm just sick and tired of death. It seems to follow my every step as I take part in this bloody war. I hate it! I hate it so very much; and now I know what's going on with our daughter.
It's too much to process. I wish life wasn't such an ass, ___. I really do; what have you and I ever done to deserve this? I…I just don't get it. Listen, I love you ___. You and our daughter, and trust me when I say that our daughter is going to be fine. She's strong like the both of us; she's going to live, okay? I'm just so sorry I wasn't there like I should've been. I love you, ___.
Love,
__

You rushed to the hospital after the doctor had called you. They asked to resuscitate your baby, in which you gave them the permission to. It was the 3rd day she'd been in the hospital, and you received calls updating you on her health; but this call. It wasn't one you were waiting for. You ran inside the busy building, pushing people out of the way.
You were about to ask the lady at the front desk for your baby, but the doctor saw you and quickly took you to see your baby. You were in a room with a large window, and she was on the other side. She was on the other side of the clear barrier that separated you both. You ran up against it as you saw your baby and 10 other nurses surrounding her. You saw a surgeon with a scalpel in his hand, waiting for the doctor's cue.
"Miss, we're requesting that we have your permission to perform surgery on your baby immediately."
"What?! What do you mean?! Get her out of there, now! I need to see her n-"
"Miss, please calm down. We need an answer now; she's losing blood from her lungs as we speak." You started crying, trying to nod. You covered your mouth.
"Y…yes…" You slid to the floor as the doctor gave them the cue to start performing the surgery. You didn't dare look at her; you didn't want to see her suffer. It was slowly killing you, but there was nothing you could do. You got up, shrieking the words "my baby…my poor baby", and the doctor tried to calm you down. It only made matters worse. Your world had just crumbled, knowing your baby wasn't going to make it. You could faintly hear the nurses in the room, panicking; as calm as they tried to stay, you knew from the start nothing was going anywhere.
You didn't want this to happen; no one did.  And you certainly didn't deserve this. You turned your head, only to peak at your baby, when suddenly, you could hear her lifeline; it was no longer beeping like it should've. You turned around completely, banging on the window.
"MY BABY!" You were in full tears, and you could feel your heart breaking, piece by piece. Your body gave out and you hit the floor. Everything was a blur, then black. Pitch black.
When you woke up, you were in a room and Alfred was asleep on the chair right next to you. Your baby came up I your head, and you jerked as you sat up. Reality struck you, and you remembered what had happened. There was no need asking where you were, for you knew exactly where and why you were where you were that very moment. You woke Alfred up, noticing his eyes were puffy. He cried himself to sleep, and you knew why.
"Alfred, wake up." He soon shook his head and rubbed his eyes.
"Huh…what?" He looked at you for a few seconds before glomping you. You both were tearing up, trying to hold the tears back; you just couldn't.
"Oh Alfred…what am I going to do?"
"___...I…I don't know." He swallowed hard before separating from you. Ludwig popped up I your head, and you soon had a headache. Ludwig; what were you going to tell him? It was all too much to process, too hard to think about. You couldn't stop thinking about your baby girl who was no longer living.
"She's gone, Alfred…gone." He held your stone cold hand.
"___, I know this is hard for you…but…she's in a better place now, right? And there's always another try." You looked up at him with your bloodshot eyes. He was right; which was very rare. That made you feel better. You gave him another hug and thanked him greatly.
He kept cheering you up during the depressing moment. You knew that this would scar you for life, but you also knew that you could try again with Ludwig. You were mainly happy that your baby was in a better place; no longer suffering. You smiled as you looked up to the sky, knowing your baby was safe and with your mom. Alfred took you home, and you started writing your letter to Ludwig.
Dear Ludwig,
I…I don't know how to come about with what I'm about to write. My handwriting is squiggly, as you can see, and you'll soon find out why. Ludwig, she's gone. I…I'm so sorry we lost her; but we can't bring her back. I miss her so much, but…she's in a better place right now; with my mom. We can always try again, Ludwig.
I know this is really hard to process, my tears are smudging the ink again, but there's nothing we can do. I stood there, watching them perform surgery on our baby girl; I can't express the feeling. It was like experiencing hell. It hurt…really bad…Ludwig, I love her so much. I know you do too; I'd do anything to bring her back…but we can't. She's gone, Ludwig. But…she'll always be with us anyway. No matter what.
Love,
__

Oh ___,
I…I can't even…our daughter is gone…and I didn't even get to see her. I…I can't
You cried as you read the few words he had offered. It hurt really bad…and you could only imagine what he felt. He didn't even get to see a peak of your daughter. You cried, knowing Ludwig was going through a lot. He had war going on, and he lost the one daughter he didn't get to even touch. Everything was going downhill. You felt so cold and lonely in that house of yours. There was no one around to hold you and feel what you were. The only man to do so was in another country.
Ludwig,
Come home, please! I…I need you here with me. I'm so lonely…I can't deal with this anymore. I just can't! I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about you and our daughter; I love you, Ludwig. Please…come home soon. Really soon.
Love,
__

You lay on your bed, pondering about the world and how it brings people to their knees. It really does, but you never thought it'd happen to you. Really; out of all the 7 million people in the world, why did it have to be you and Ludwig? You had yet another headache, thinking too hard again.
You waited more than a week for his letter, but there wasn't anything crucial in the mail. Day after day, you checked your mail box over and over, but still no letter. A month flew by when you checked your mail box again. It was only full of junk and more coupons. You started to become more scared; at first you thought that Ludwig was too busy to write letters. But no one was this busy. You began to worry.
It was 11:30am on a Saturday, and you woke up from another dream of your baby. You slowly got up, feeling like a zombie as you made your way to the mailbox. You opened the inanimate container and assumed nothing was in there but junk mail. You walked back in, headed for the kitchen to throw it all away. As you threw the junk mail away, one by one, you came across a white envelope. It was from the military camp that Ludwig was at. You tore the thing open like there was no tomorrow, and you opened the letter up.
You read it, finding out it wasn't from Ludwig; it was most certainly about him, though. You continued to read, hoping the news would get better. It did the exact opposite. You were warming up, hoping nothing bad had happened. Alfred opened the door with the spare key he had. You ignored everything as you read. Your heart suddenly stopped once you came across a specific sentence.
You looked at the shadows that was bothering your preferable vision; it was Alfred. 3 seconds had passed after glancing at him, and you dropped like a dead body to the floor. He ran to catch you before you could hit the cold ground. "___, what's wrong?!" He shook you, tearing up. You didn't move a muscle. "Oh God! No…please don't tell me…" He picked the weightless paper up and began to read it. "No! …Please don't tell me he…Oh my God..." He read the whole letter and stopped where you had.
"…Ludwig Beillschmidt had been killed in action…"